A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud scream is heard from the bathroom.
A few minutes after that, another loud scream through the bar. The bartender goes in to check why the drunk is screaming. "What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring the customers!" "I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I tush semething comes up and squeezes the hell out of my balls." The bartender opens the door, looks in and says" You idiot!" "You're sitting on the mop bucket!