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Aww Come On! tRump is the
"Chosen One". He is above the laws of Biblical Laws.
The Volatile Mermaid
@OhNoSheTwitnt
You know what was more disrespectful to Barron than making jokes about his height? Cheating on
his mother right after she gave birth to him.
AM - - Twitter for iPhone
Aww Come On! tRump is the "Chosen One". He is above the laws of Biblical Laws. The Volatile Mermaid @OhNoSheTwitnt You know what was more disrespectful to Barron than making jokes about his height? Cheating on his mother right after she gave birth to him. AM - - Twitter for iPhone
Few things are worse than a liar
who can convince you that you're crazy
for seeing the truths they try so hard to hide.
txcntrylivin11 txcntrylivin11
16 mar
Few things are worse than a liar who can convince you that you're crazy for seeing the truths they try so hard to hide.
When the day arrives that there are no more tomorrows for me,
I want my children to know and never forget that they were, are, and always will be deeply loved by me.
heavensoul
When the day arrives that there are no more tomorrows for me, I want my children to know and never forget that they were, are, and always will be deeply loved by me. heavensoul
ut we're not gonna talk about tee
Any female who can sit & watch Forensic Files, First
AS, Snapped and Law &
Order all day is a woman you need to keep your 33 on
EliseWuelling EliseWuelling
5 mar
ut we're not gonna talk about tee Any female who can sit & watch Forensic Files, First AS, Snapped and Law & Order all day is a woman you need to keep your 33 on
When you realize you have feet
Barbara =
hrs
My toaster caught on fire yesterday and when I realized it there was a flame like two feet high almost touching my cabinets so I panicked and picked it up so it wouldn't catch my cabinets on fire but then I was just standing in my kitchen holding a flaming toaster and my dad saw me and didn't say anything and I didn't know what to do so ran outside with it and threw it at the ground but it was on fire so I picked it up and threw it again and again until it went out but then my grass was on fire so I beat it with a shovel until that went out too. Then I came back inside and my dad was just like
"Whatcha cookin Barb"
Barbara = hrs My toaster caught on fire yesterday and when I realized it there was a flame like two feet high almost touching my cabinets so I panicked and picked it up so it wouldn't catch my cabinets on fire but then I was just standing in my kitchen holding a flaming toaster and my dad saw me and didn't say anything and I didn't know what to do so ran outside with it and threw it at the ground but it was on fire so I picked it up and threw it again and again until it went out but then my grass was on fire so I beat it with a shovel until that went out too. Then I came back inside and my dad was just like "Whatcha cookin Barb"
I told my teenage niece to go get me
newspaper.
She laughed at me, and said, "Oh uncle you are so old. Just use my phone."
So I slammed her phone against the wall to kill a spider.
Modern problems require modern solutions
BENICE BENICE
1 may
I told my teenage niece to go get me newspaper. She laughed at me, and said, "Oh uncle you are so old. Just use my phone." So I slammed her phone against the wall to kill a spider. Modern problems require modern solutions
There's always a little
"go fuck yourself"
In every
"whatever"
There's always a little "go fuck yourself" In every "whatever"
Georgia Diebelius
My cousin's cat ate a wasp and I cannot breathe
Georgia Diebelius My cousin's cat ate a wasp and I cannot breathe
The best thing to spend on your relationship is time, conversation, understanding, and honesty.
JennyGoff
12 mar
The best thing to spend on your relationship is time, conversation, understanding, and honesty.
KIDS TODAY ARE SOFT. I DIED ONCE WHEN I WAS FIVE, AND MY MOM MADE ME WALK IT OFF_
KIDS TODAY ARE SOFT. I DIED ONCE WHEN I WAS FIVE, AND MY MOM MADE ME WALK IT OFF_
There are 2 types of people in this world
"OMG I need got this' to fill up!"
JennyGoff
13 mar
There are 2 types of people in this world "OMG I need got this' to fill up!"
HERE'S TO ALL THE PEOPLE
THAT DEAL WITH MORONS ON A REGULAR BASIS
LukeEller LukeEller
18 mar
HERE'S TO ALL THE PEOPLE THAT DEAL WITH MORONS ON A REGULAR BASIS
You gotta ask women nowadays;
Are you Single Single,
Mad at Him Single, or
He's in Jail Single?
Siego129
9 mar
You gotta ask women nowadays; Are you Single Single, Mad at Him Single, or He's in Jail Single?
After listening her owner drone on for hours,
Ginger suddenly realized she was NOT cut out to be an emotional support dog
after all.
After listening her owner drone on for hours, Ginger suddenly realized she was NOT cut out to be an emotional support dog after all.
Jesus I need you to stand by me because without you I cannot stand alone. You are the reason why I am still breathing. Without you, am nothing.
DPhelps DPhelps
20 apr
Jesus I need you to stand by me because without you I cannot stand alone. You are the reason why I am still breathing. Without you, am nothing.
Three stages of life:
1. Birth
2. What the fuck is this
3. Death
Three stages of life: 1. Birth 2. What the fuck is this 3. Death
when I see my numan crying because she cannot find me
when I see my numan crying because she cannot find me
When I'm up first and my wife is still sleeping.
When my wife is up first and
I'm still
"sleeping."
When I'm up first and my wife is still sleeping. When my wife is up first and I'm still "sleeping."
You Look Like
Trouble And Chaos...
Call Me...
You Look Like Trouble And Chaos... Call Me...
How many of you would put your own life on the line in order to save your child's without hesitation?
I'll wait.
How many of you would put your own life on the line in order to save your child's without hesitation? I'll wait.