Bras for c-cups and under: Hello princess, let me kiss your nipples with a hint of lace, while enrobing your breasts in fine silk, gently embracing them together like two fragile turtle doves, cooing in the snow.
Bras for d-cups and up: What's up blob-fish, here's beige canvas held together by braided rope in constrictor knots, and intricate pulley-system. Don't forget to yell "Heave-ho!" before hoisting those anchors onto the upper deck so people in a 5-mile radius can run for cover. We attached a hastily-made bow in the middle, so you'll feel pretty.