Honey, are you coming over for dinner today?
Sorry mom, I have a dic appointment tonight and it's
been like 6 months since the last one so I really don't want to reschedule.
It's nice that you're being so open about it, but I'm kind of sad that you'd rather be gagging on a schlong than spending quality time with your family.
What?!? OMG....I meant doc appointment. Gagging on