Ladies, some of y'alls selfies are gonna have to stop.
Some do the right thing and let that natural beauty shine.
The rest of you are
using more filters than a coffee pot.
So take it easy there,
Wife: [reading Wikipedia out loud] contrary to popular belief, the female black widow spider does not always murder and eat her mate. If she has recently been fed, the male is often allowed to live.
Me: [frantically boiling spaghetti water].