log in
might not be able to get as high as I used to...
but I'll give it my best try
auaru dau at mu lisa
might not be able to get as high as I used to... but I'll give it my best try auaru dau at mu lisa
animalmemer animalmemer
11 mar
THE LITTLE KISSES
don't know why men go to bars to try and meet women. Go to
Target. The female to male ratio is like
10 and they're already looking for crap they don't need.
don't know why men go to bars to try and meet women. Go to Target. The female to male ratio is like 10 and they're already looking for crap they don't need.
WELCOME TO SEA WORLD YOU LITTLE SHITS
WELCOME TO SEA WORLD YOU LITTLE SHITS
Sarah (dog) stole a bite of Stella's food and Stella came running to me in the kitchen to literally bitch about it.
Sarah (dog) stole a bite of Stella's food and Stella came running to me in the kitchen to literally bitch about it.
A rich life has nothing to do with money
A rich life has nothing to do with money
TATERNUTZ TATERNUTZ
6 mar
RAMBO.... STOP KNOCKING LIKE YOU THE POLICE.
dreams wont come true if you dont trust
you
- rhea khemani
poetsdealer poetsdealer
15 mar
dreams wont come true if you dont trust you - rhea khemani
When someone honks at me for no reason
You wanna go
When someone honks at me for no reason You wanna go
I Ifyou are still confused about gender, try milking a bull. That might kick start your thinking.
I Ifyou are still confused about gender, try milking a bull. That might kick start your thinking.
Me to my family when
they expect me to make dinner every night
Lower your expectations
Me to my family when they expect me to make dinner every night Lower your expectations
"IF YOU ARE DEPRESSED,
YOU ARE LIVING IN THE PAST. IF YOU ARE ANXIOUS,
YOU ARE LIVING IN THE FUTURE. IF YOU ARE AT PEACE, YOU ARE LIVING IN THE PRESENT."
-LAO TZu-
"IF YOU ARE DEPRESSED, YOU ARE LIVING IN THE PAST. IF YOU ARE ANXIOUS, YOU ARE LIVING IN THE FUTURE. IF YOU ARE AT PEACE, YOU ARE LIVING IN THE PRESENT." -LAO TZu-
sugoi sugoi
9 mar
He doesn't like me making fun of him cleaning himself
Whenever I'm sick, my dog thinks his love is the cure!
LisaBruce LisaBruce
9 mar
Whenever I'm sick, my dog thinks his love is the cure!
RE OLD AS FUCK ROW!
hastyGruntled hastyGruntled
12 jun
RE OLD AS FUCK ROW!
I think onejthing we've all ofjthis is
that should avoid each other more often.
I think onejthing we've all ofjthis is that should avoid each other more often.
Churchy Service Dogs do Altar Work
your honor, clearly my
client is not a
flight risk
BadHaase BadHaase
26 feb
your honor, clearly my client is not a flight risk
MEDICAL FACT: IF A WOMAN DRINKS TWO GLASSES OF WINE A DAY, IT INCREASES THE CHANCE OF A STROKE
IF YOU LET HER FINISH THE BOTTLE.
SHE'LL PROBABLY SUCK IT AS WELL.
Rikkeej Rikkeej
6 jun
MEDICAL FACT: IF A WOMAN DRINKS TWO GLASSES OF WINE A DAY, IT INCREASES THE CHANCE OF A STROKE IF YOU LET HER FINISH THE BOTTLE. SHE'LL PROBABLY SUCK IT AS WELL.
The 1970s
Smart Phone
Never lost
Convenient one-finger dialling
Infinite battery life
Universal ringtone
Scam-free - if the phone rings, it's someone you know
Contact list storage on notepad under the phone
Easily muted by placing palm across the receiver
No complicated family plan - first one to the phone gets to use it
No accidental voicemail deletion - messages safely stored on fridge note
Group chat available through party line
The 1970s Smart Phone Never lost Convenient one-finger dialling Infinite battery life Universal ringtone Scam-free - if the phone rings, it's someone you know Contact list storage on notepad under the phone Easily muted by placing palm across the receiver No complicated family plan - first one to the phone gets to use it No accidental voicemail deletion - messages safely stored on fridge note Group chat available through party line