MY DOG ISN'T SPOILED. I'M JUST WELL TRAINED.
OF COURSE I TALK TO MY DOG.
SOMETIMES I NEED GREAT ADVICE.
HOME IS WHERE SOMEONE RUNS TO GREET YOU.
THE WINDOWS AR DIRTY THAT'S MY DOGS' NOSE ART.
THE FINISHING TOUCH TO ANY OUTFIT IS DOG HAIR.
DOGS LEAVE PAW PRINTS ON YOUR HEART...
AND ON YOUR FLOORS.
'DID YOU KNOW?
In the Bodi tribe, in Ethiopia, the most desired men are those with the largest bellies. The more belly
you have, the more attractive you are. I show this to you so you can see that you're not fat, you're just in the wrong tribe.
tip for newlyweds: send a wedding invite to every billionaire whose address you can find because it's a chance their assistants just send you a perfunctory gift without ever wondering who the hell you are