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When your friend makes a mean joke but you love it cause you're also evil
When your friend makes a mean joke but you love it cause you're also evil
When your wife just randomly, gets issued the perfect plates
MSElliott35
30 apr
When your wife just randomly, gets issued the perfect plates
I'M AN ADULT
DON'T HAVE TO WAIT TILL TUESDAY EAT TACOS
I'M AN ADULT DON'T HAVE TO WAIT TILL TUESDAY EAT TACOS
hen you have warm laundry, all is right with the world
Wi
hen you have warm laundry, all is right with the world Wi
Strong women never give up.
We might need a
coffee, a cry or even a day in bed
but we always come
back stronger.
Strong women never give up. We might need a coffee, a cry or even a day in bed but we always come back stronger.
Dear Life!
Would you at least start using lubricant?
Dear Life! Would you at least start using lubricant?
"There will come a time when only these that know how to plant will be eating."
Sugran
18 mar
"There will come a time when only these that know how to plant will be eating."
Cashier: Would you like your milk in a
bag?
Me: No, you can just leave it in the jug
WITHOUT A DAD JOKE
"Fast checkoul of
Rikkeej Rikkeej
26d
Cashier: Would you like your milk in a bag? Me: No, you can just leave it in the jug WITHOUT A DAD JOKE "Fast checkoul of
Have you ever gone back to visit your old house or neighbourhood just to take in the nostalgia and childhood memories?
Have you ever gone back to visit your old house or neighbourhood just to take in the nostalgia and childhood memories?
don't feel safe
going back
to work
You felt safe
going out to spend your unemployment check
don't feel safe going back to work You felt safe going out to spend your unemployment check
7 yr old me
My mom making my favorite cheesecake for my birthday
7 yr old me My mom making my favorite cheesecake for my birthday
marinemammalress vs
I don't need to be sneaky. I do whatever the fuck I want. The end.
JennyGoff
6 mar
I don't need to be sneaky. I do whatever the fuck I want. The end.
'no balcony no prob
'no balcony no prob
Imagine breaking into my house and hearing honk honk before getting smoked
70sguy 70sguy
25 mar
Imagine breaking into my house and hearing honk honk before getting smoked
Life becomes easier
When you delete the negative people from it.
Life becomes easier When you delete the negative people from it.
It might be called social media but all I do is share memes and ignore people
It might be called social media but all I do is share memes and ignore people
Idfk who can NOT like this.
Idfk who can NOT like this.
People don't fake depression...
they fake being okay.
Remember that.
Be kind.
People don't fake depression... they fake being okay. Remember that. Be kind.
Hello?
i'm fine
thank you for accepting my invitation hope I do not disturb you
No problem are you robot?
How old are you?
4 thousand years old
me i'm 22
what's you job?
basically bring souls across an interdimensional portal to feed to the Ancient Ones. What do you do for fun?
me i'm a Caregiver what are you doing now?
Harvesting an elderly lady for organs and eventually collecting her soul
I'm alone in my room and naked,
you want to see me
Not really, this old bitch is kinda putting up a fight. Maybe later
promise me that it will stay
between us OK
Bitch, I just admitted to harvesting organs. You better be the one to keep quiet. Snitches get stitches
kristisun1976 kristisun1976
26 feb
Hello? i'm fine thank you for accepting my invitation hope I do not disturb you No problem are you robot? How old are you? 4 thousand years old me i'm 22 what's you job? basically bring souls across an interdimensional portal to feed to the Ancient Ones. What do you do for fun? me i'm a Caregiver what are you doing now? Harvesting an elderly lady for organs and eventually collecting her soul I'm alone in my room and naked, you want to see me Not really, this old bitch is kinda putting up a fight. Maybe later promise me that it will stay between us OK Bitch, I just admitted to harvesting organs. You better be the one to keep quiet. Snitches get stitches
are
enough for
are enough for