log in
"You're fired, Jack The lab results just came back, and you tested
positive for Coke." dj
fstc84 fstc84
16d
"You're fired, Jack The lab results just came back, and you tested positive for Coke." dj
"Hey man, you free this weekend?"
*wipes single tear*
"I'm free every weekend."
"Hey man, you free this weekend?" *wipes single tear* "I'm free every weekend."
We accidentally amputated your dick.
Ma'am you need to calm down!
We accidentally amputated your dick. Ma'am you need to calm down!
There's Fire in Her
If loved correctly I She will warm your entire home
If abused, She will burn it down
AmandaMusick AmandaMusick
26 oct 2020
There's Fire in Her If loved correctly I She will warm your entire home If abused, She will burn it down
DON'T UNDERSTAND IT...
I WOKE UP WITH THIS STRANGE THING AROUND MY NECK AND THEY WERE GONE!
biff biff
18 mar
DON'T UNDERSTAND IT... I WOKE UP WITH THIS STRANGE THING AROUND MY NECK AND THEY WERE GONE!
Have you ever realized that
Women's "I'll be ready in 5 minutes"
.and a man's "I'll be home in 5 minutes" are exactly the same
PapaLegba PapaLegba
21d
Have you ever realized that Women's "I'll be ready in 5 minutes" .and a man's "I'll be home in 5 minutes" are exactly the same
Forgive your enemy, but remember the bastard's name.
-Scottish proverb
Forgive your enemy, but remember the bastard's name. -Scottish proverb
There are times when my greatest accomplishment
is just keeping my mouth shut.
graciJo graciJo
10 mar
There are times when my greatest accomplishment is just keeping my mouth shut.
"Loneliness is the safest place I know"
Edgar Allan Poe
TATERNUTZ TATERNUTZ
8 mar
"Loneliness is the safest place I know" Edgar Allan Poe
Socsey
is
AND IF we
ARE TAL Kine,
BEHAVING In
NON-INCLUSIVE WAY You wiLt BE
EXCLUDED
SleepyGirl
13 mar
Socsey is AND IF we ARE TAL Kine, BEHAVING In NON-INCLUSIVE WAY You wiLt BE EXCLUDED
Macbaaby
@MacBaaby
The older we get, the more we understand this guy.
Macbaaby @MacBaaby The older we get, the more we understand this guy.
Is four a lot? Depends on the context.
Students at youth group? No. Students left at rest ston? Yes.
Is four a lot? Depends on the context. Students at youth group? No. Students left at rest ston? Yes.
SEX EDUCATION 101
SHOULD DENTURES BE REMOVED BEFORE
xxxxxxx xxxxxxx
3 apr
SEX EDUCATION 101 SHOULD DENTURES BE REMOVED BEFORE
tip for newlyweds: send a wedding invite to every billionaire whose address you can find because it's a chance their assistants just send you a perfunctory gift without ever wondering who the hell you are
tip for newlyweds: send a wedding invite to every billionaire whose address you can find because it's a chance their assistants just send you a perfunctory gift without ever wondering who the hell you are
Who's parents had ar alarm clock like this'?
Who's parents had ar alarm clock like this'?
Me: I hit an animal and my car is totalled. Am I covered?
Insurance: Yes. What did you hit?
Me: A fish.
Me: I hit an animal and my car is totalled. Am I covered? Insurance: Yes. What did you hit? Me: A fish.
My dog chillin' like "What's up?"
rainiedaze rainiedaze
16 mar
My dog chillin' like "What's up?"
A police officer spent his lunch break sharing pizza with a homeless woman.
atiok
txcntrylivin11 txcntrylivin11
8 mar
A police officer spent his lunch break sharing pizza with a homeless woman. atiok
My cousin just posted this picture of his son. Look how excited and proud he is of where he put all the carrots. I'm cracking up
My cousin just posted this picture of his son. Look how excited and proud he is of where he put all the carrots. I'm cracking up
When ur havin a hard time but ur best friend is there for u
When ur havin a hard time but ur best friend is there for u
No one notices your
No one notices your
Sadness
No one notices your
But they all notices your
Mistakes
No one notices your No one notices your Sadness No one notices your But they all notices your Mistakes