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Happyfi5h
Happyfi5h
9 featured
al! Verizon PM 56% )
< Photo G
xxy.shhh
Kitty prison while we get the house painted."
youvebeenkated: maghrabiyya:
this is actually a very good idea, that prison looks fun and very comfy
yes i too would like to hang out in kitty prison.
99aAVYV W
Liked by katedmccreery and 2,088 others
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10 HOURS AGO
al! Verizon PM 56% ) < Photo G xxy.shhh Kitty prison while we get the house painted." youvebeenkated: maghrabiyya: this is actually a very good idea, that prison looks fun and very comfy yes i too would like to hang out in kitty prison. 99aAVYV W Liked by katedmccreery and 2,088 others View all 26 comments 10 HOURS AGO
14 Actual Announcements Made By Flight
Attendants. Someone Give Them Medal.
"To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. it works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
"Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights.
This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
"Please be sure to take all of your belongings. if
'you're going to leave anything, please make sure
It's something we'd like to have."
"Thank 'enjoyed you for giving flying us the on our as We much hope as you we
'enjoyed enjoyed giving taking us the you business for ride." as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
"Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, we're sure as hell everything has shifted."
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure,
'masks will descend from the celling. Stop
Sscreaming, face. if you grab have the mask, small and child pull it over your with you, face. if you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. if
'you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."
"Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you"
"Your the seat cushions can be used emergency for water flotation; landing, and please in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."
"As you your exit the belongings. plane, make Anything sure left to gather behind will all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants.
Please do not leave children or spouses."
"United Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some Industry. of the best flight attendants of them in are the on this
Industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight.
seat belts fastened while the
left of our airplane to the gat
"Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal
"Ladies and gentlemer
'smoking wing. section can on this light airplane 'em, you is outside smoke on the 'em." the wing. Ifyou can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."
"We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting tube, through we hope the you'll skies think in of a pressurized United Airlines.
metal tube, we hope you'll think of United Airlines.
14 Actual Announcements Made By Flight Attendants. Someone Give Them Medal. "To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. it works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised." "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants." "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. if 'you're going to leave anything, please make sure It's something we'd like to have." "Thank 'enjoyed you for giving flying us the on our as We much hope as you we 'enjoyed enjoyed giving taking us the you business for ride." as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride." "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, we're sure as hell everything has shifted." "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, 'masks will descend from the celling. Stop Sscreaming, face. if you grab have the mask, small and child pull it over your with you, face. if you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. if 'you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite." "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you" "Your the seat cushions can be used emergency for water flotation; landing, and please in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments." "As you your exit the belongings. plane, make Anything sure left to gather behind will all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses." "United Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some Industry. of the best flight attendants of them in are the on this Industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight. seat belts fastened while the left of our airplane to the gat "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal "Ladies and gentlemer 'smoking wing. section can on this light airplane 'em, you is outside smoke on the 'em." the wing. Ifyou can light 'em, you can smoke 'em." "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting tube, through we hope the you'll skies think in of a pressurized United Airlines. metal tube, we hope you'll think of United Airlines.
fucktrecool
STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING
Look at this wolf
OK now you can continue
that's not a wolf that's king good bo)
fucktrecool STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING Look at this wolf OK now you can continue that's not a wolf that's king good bo)
After every flight, FEDEX pilots fill out a form, known
as a "gripe sheet" to tell_ mechanics about problems
with the aircraft. The mechanics fix the problem, and then document their repairs on the form.
Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted by the pilots (marked with "P") and the solutions recorded (marked by an maintenance engineers, who by the way have a sense of humor:
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Left inside main tire almost replaced.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield
S: Live bugs on back order.
P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Can't reproduce problem on the ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
'S: DME voulme set more believeable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
'S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
'S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspect crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit
S: Cat installed in cockpit.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel.
Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
After every flight, FEDEX pilots fill out a form, known as a "gripe sheet" to tell_ mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics fix the problem, and then document their repairs on the form. Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted by the pilots (marked with "P") and the solutions recorded (marked by an maintenance engineers, who by the way have a sense of humor: P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Left inside main tire almost replaced. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit S: Something tightened in cockpit P: Dead bugs on windshield S: Live bugs on back order. P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Can't reproduce problem on the ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. 'S: DME voulme set more believeable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. 'S: That's what friction locks are for. P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. 'S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspect crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit S: Cat installed in cockpit. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget.
This guy is a genius
SO
This guy is a genius SO
put
cave
genius but or
Asshale nonetheless
Happyfi5h Happyfi5h
10d
put cave genius but or Asshale nonetheless
THIS SEE THROUGHITHIE
4 18 Comments
Like Comment
Thank 2020 for its consistency.
THIS SEE THROUGHITHIE 4 18 Comments Like Comment Thank 2020 for its consistency.
Fire from a burning building being sucked into a tornado.
get out of there fireman what are you doing
there's a tornado
can't stop laughing at this fireman he's just standing there going well dam, look at that
fire tornado.
hun."
More laughs at
Fire from a burning building being sucked into a tornado. get out of there fireman what are you doing there's a tornado can't stop laughing at this fireman he's just standing there going well dam, look at that fire tornado. hun." More laughs at
So the other day I am driving to pick up my son from school and I noticed this cop car dragging a hose from gas pump. I followed him to see how long it would take him to notice it. Then, to my surprise, he pulls someone over! So I wait until he walks up to the vehicle and quickly get out and run over to his ear.
put my hand on the nozzie and pretend like I'm pumping his gas. Then notice the guy in the car is.
laughing his ass off and can hear the cop ask him,
"you think this is about the traffic stop) and the guy looks at him and says "no, but that is.", as he points back at me. I will never forget the look on that cop's face... Priceless.
More like this at
So the other day I am driving to pick up my son from school and I noticed this cop car dragging a hose from gas pump. I followed him to see how long it would take him to notice it. Then, to my surprise, he pulls someone over! So I wait until he walks up to the vehicle and quickly get out and run over to his ear. put my hand on the nozzie and pretend like I'm pumping his gas. Then notice the guy in the car is. laughing his ass off and can hear the cop ask him, "you think this is about the traffic stop) and the guy looks at him and says "no, but that is.", as he points back at me. I will never forget the look on that cop's face... Priceless. More like this at
My Grandma got bit by a Pelican on a pier and then began to scold it
My Grandma got bit by a Pelican on a pier and then began to scold it