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Dad: "We're not getting a dog" Dad once we've got a dog:
Fuck barhopping.
just want someone to drink kombucha in a blanket fort with me while we talk about the universe and shit.
Fuck barhopping. just want someone to drink kombucha in a blanket fort with me while we talk about the universe and shit.
hate those people who post shit like, "Does anyone know what time the doctor's office opens?" Like, just fucking
Google it, Susan.
hate those people who post shit like, "Does anyone know what time the doctor's office opens?" Like, just fucking Google it, Susan.
WHEN T TELL MY DOG ABOUT MY DAY.
KEEP RHYMING KEEP RHYMING WITH "TREATS"
SQ HE LOOKS TNTERESTEN
WITH "TREATS"
WHEN T TELL MY DOG ABOUT MY DAY. KEEP RHYMING KEEP RHYMING WITH "TREATS" SQ HE LOOKS TNTERESTEN WITH "TREATS"
Is this the language of hot girls?
ABE
KUK
EF
Is this the language of hot girls? ABE KUK EF
God says:
I created you with purpose and fora purpose. You are no accident.
I love you.
God says: I created you with purpose and fora purpose. You are no accident. I love you.
Without
Darkness
Without Darkness
Me: The kids haven't eaten their sandwiches
Wife: ok just throw them out
[Later]
Me *helping the kids pack a suitcase* look I'm as surprised as vou are
Me: The kids haven't eaten their sandwiches Wife: ok just throw them out [Later] Me *helping the kids pack a suitcase* look I'm as surprised as vou are
me anytime I'm asked a question that requires an answer above my pay grade
wonk
me anytime I'm asked a question that requires an answer above my pay grade wonk
BEAUTY IS IN THE EVE
OF THE BEER HOLDER
BEAUTY IS IN THE EVE OF THE BEER HOLDER
Some of ya'll idiots snorting cocaine that's been cut with SO different toxic chemicals with a
rolled up bill that's been shoved up a strippers ass crack and you walking around town with a mask on scared of covid 19.
Some of ya'll idiots snorting cocaine that's been cut with SO different toxic chemicals with a rolled up bill that's been shoved up a strippers ass crack and you walking around town with a mask on scared of covid 19.
ONE DAY!
I'm gonna have
"everything I prayed for!
ONE DAY! I'm gonna have "everything I prayed for!
The best thing I've learned this week is that when squirrels - they land like superheroes
The best thing I've learned this week is that when squirrels - they land like superheroes
My toxic trait is being productive for 20 mins and then giving my self a 2 hour break.
My toxic trait is being productive for 20 mins and then giving my self a 2 hour break.
When you've got a deep rage burning inside you but you've got to act nice because you're at work...
When you've got a deep rage burning inside you but you've got to act nice because you're at work...
Cherish those you have
rt
in your life because you never know when they won
be around anymore.
Unknown
piscesgurl0305
18 mar
Cherish those you have rt in your life because you never know when they won be around anymore. Unknown
Me when I feel a slight breeze outside
How to store your cats
How to store your cats
If you eat a banana like this in front of us. Boing
PicRec PicRec
4 may
If you eat a banana like this in front of us. Boing
FAMILY MATTERS
excess_groups excess_groups
16 mar
FAMILY MATTERS
I don't know whether to add dressing or holy water
densojb3 densojb3
8d
I don't know whether to add dressing or holy water